Ticket to Ride: Joy Ride

Welcome, comrades! Congratulations on your recent 'election' to the new Soviet World Council. You have been granted the privilege of celebrating with a victory tour to as many cities as possible in a route. The whole Council is on board and every day somebody new is in charge. If ever the Party stops and has to back up, then whoever is responsible will be kicked off the Council. And who wants to visit the same city twice? Nobody!

Goal

The goal of this game is to be the last one standing on the Council and inherit the world dictatorship. You are knocked out if you are the Party pooper who failed to extend the Joy Ride to the next city. At all costs, do not displease the Party.

Setup

Everyone must adopt the most Russian sounding pseudonym (always a good choice in this line of work) and whoever chose the most Russian sounding name is voluntold to go first. Congratulations. If anyone slips up and uses anything other than the Russian name, he or she must discard a card at random.

Alternatively, decide the first player by mixing 1 wild into a stack with the same number of cards as players. Shuffle the stack and allow people to choose their own card. Whoever chooses the wild goes first.

The first player gets to decide in which city the Joy Ride begins. He or she may choose any city so long as it is Moscow. If Moscow is not on the map, any city that is the closest to Moscow shall be chosen freely. In Soviet Russia, you are free to choose only what we say. This is not the former US of A.

Deal each player 1 wild and 1 train card of each color. If you are using ships, deal each player 1 ship of each color also. Double ship cards count the same as singles. Don't get excited.

Play

The first player places her or his train or boat on the starting city. Then he or she chooses a city for the Joy Ride train to stop at next by playing a single card for any route that connects the starting city with the next one. The card played must be the same color as the route chosen and be of the same type, either train or ship. Gray routes can take any color card (it must be correct vehicle type, though) and wild cards may be played on any color route. The player then fills in the chosen route with his or her trains or ships (or just place one train or ship; you just must indicate that that route has been used. Two trains or ships works well enough for government work).

If a player cannot extend the Joy Ride because she or he has no cards left, she or he does not have the correct colored card, or if all the adjacent cities have already been visited, then you are a Party pooper and you are kicked off the Council, you hypocritical Trotskyite. You are out and may now go frolic with the dirty Capitalist Pigs.

Now the last player who successfully played a card backs the train up to the last city that has a route to an unvisited city, leaving all the already placed trains and ships on the board.

Required materials

Any game of Ticket to Ride
2-6 players. The 2 player version, like everything in the Soviet Union, is untested but in active use and might cause bodily harm.
If everyone is of age, whenever the first player's turn rolls around, you must toast and drink White Russians, always remembering how the Whites lost to the triumphant Reds. If you somehow have no vodka, choose your wine appropriately.

No reported casualties. No further testing is required for launch.

Alternatives

I just thought that Soviet Russia is a great place to make games up - the rules are arbitrary but very strict and they require people to do things in illogical ways often. Not the most efficient ways. That's part of the charm. I guess you could use a different theme
Alternative titles: Snake on a Train (because you're building a snake game like thing that cannot run into itself or walls), Highway to Hell, Joy Ride to Hell
If you would like more randomness and less skill, then deal a small hand of cards to each player.
If the game is too long, require players to discard some cards at the beginning. These can be face up or face down discards, depending on if you want players to know what has been discarded or not.
When players play a card, lay it face up in front of them in a row from left to right so everyone can see who has played what. Alternatively, each player plays the cards on top of each other forming a 'played' stack and the most recently played card is visible. Alternatively, the player shows all the players the card he or she plays then flips it face down in a 'played' stack, so players have to remember what cards have been played.
- This is unnecessary because EVERYONE can see what you have already played. your trains are sitting on colored routes.
- You can add this ambiguity back in if everyone uses a single color for the routes, instead of using their own color. Then players will not know what cards the other players have used unless they remember.
Allow trading cards on the player's turn
Perhaps give out ticket cards and let players try to complete the tickets by connecting the two cities. These are just bonus points for bragging about later. There are no promotions for performance in the USSR.
Add the colored score tokens down on the board in random cities. Whoever ends their turn in that city collects the token and gets a wild card.
If you want to play faster, don't place trains or ships at all, but simply put the card down over the route you are using.
SOLO VERSION - Start with a full hand of cards (either 7 or 13 depending on if you are using ships). Choose a random city to start with and try to play all your cards. You score a point for every route you lay. Try to make the complete train!
More difficult - Wilds are considered gray and can only be played on gray routes. Gray routes require a wild to use.
More difficult - At the end of your turn, you must select a plastic train or plastic ship. On your next turn, you can only play a train or ship, depending on what you selected last turn. This way people can see what you can play next and act accordingly. Could combine this with the discard rule above and when you discard, you choose a plastic train or ship according to whatever you discarded. You must play that kind of card next turn.
Speed it up - If things are too slow, then each player has the number of seconds equal to the number of segments of the last train times two for his or her turn. If they take too long, everyone can complain about it and do nothing, a classic Russian pastime.
On smaller maps or with more people, players must discard one card at the end of their turn. This is to limit the number of total rounds played to something reasonable.

Positives

For any given turn, the number of options for play are small. No city has more than ~7 connections so at most you could have ~6 options. You may not have the cards necessary for some of those routes, reducing your options further.
There is no randomness?
If you die, often it is not your fault? Is this a good thing? Welcome to Soviet Russia!

Negatives

In Soviet Russia, everything is ideal theoretically. Except the Mensheviks, obviously.

Testing

Solo

How far can you go solo with trains and ships?

Too far

No reported casualties. No further testing is required for launch.

Suggestions are welcome, though incorrect comments may lead to your exile to the Gulag in Siberia or land you in front of a firing squad.